I am not Esther by Fleur Beale

I am not Esther by Fleur Beale was first published in 1998 and I am only just reading it now, despite purchasing it in early 2017.  The front cover has the line A bestselling New Zealand classic and I would agree and urge you to read it.

Here is the front cover:

Here is the back cover and blurb.

Now I've previously read a number of Fleur Beale's books, but I have a personal attachment.  Mrs Beale was a teacher at my high school when I was a student and she was a wonderful teacher who I have happy memories of, not because she was a teacher of a subject I liked as I never had her as a subject teacher, but because she took the time to talk to students and support them as they were transitioning from leaving school.  Mr Beale would also sometimes travel to school on the bus with us.  This is a link to Fleur Beale's Wikipedia page which has her biography and also contains a list of her books (I love Slide the Corner).

This book would resonate with many New Zealanders with the most famous cult in New Zealand, Gloriavale, receiving a lot of media attention and being the subject of several flattering documentaries over the last decade.

This would be a great book to read with Year 9 and 10s to encourage fabulous discussion for and against the lifestyle and beliefs and actions of the Children of the Faith and apply it to real life situations.

At 207 pages (in my copy anyway) it was a fast read and compelling as Kirby is abandoned by her mother into the care of her Uncle Caleb and his family, people Kirby knew nothing of, before supposedly going off to Africa to volunteer with refugees as a nurse.  Kirby is taken away from all she knows, her name is changed to Esther by her uncle and he refuses to give her access to her and her mother's possessions or let her read letters sent by her mother or give her her mother's address.

Kirby finds herself in a home with no radio, no television, no newspapers, no mirrors and no telephone.  There are six children (Daniel aged 17, the twins Rachel and Rebecca who are intermediate aged, Abraham and Luke who are primary school aged and Magdalene who has just turned five) and her Aunt Naomi is pregnant.  Kirby finds out that there is another sister, Miriam, the same age as her, fourteen, who has recently passed away.

Kirby fights against the situation she finds herself in, struggles to keep her identity as Kirby rather than becoming Esther.  She soon discovers that the situation with Miriam is not what it seems and that Daniel has no desire to stay in the faith.  Kirby finds help once she begins high school but it is with a heavy heart as she struggles with the thought of abandoning Magdalene.

To say anything else would be to give away too much about the story, but I am looking forward now to reading the sequels, I am Rebecca and Being Magdalene, which I purchased at the same time as I am not Esther.